Sir Beard - The most distinguished gentleman this side of the Pecos with a beard manicured to perfection. When learning the legend and studying the profile, many ask: What kind of routine does one employ to curate such an esteemed image?
In the old day’s, a simple routine revolving around work and tending to the homestead would suffice for any gentleman. However, this modern world requires habits tailored to elevate the man (hint: elevate the beard).
6:00 am
Sir Beard wakes.
6:15 am
Amongst his usual pattern of brushing his teeth and ten minutes of meditation, Sir Beard applies the John Smith Beard Oil: this unscented oil tames his beard’s flyaway fringe and provides a base layer of grooming for the day. With a well-oiled beard, Sir Beard rises to meet the day’s demands.
7:00 am
Before tending to his business, Sir Beard provides for his family and homestead: a couple hours of brewing coffee, chopping wood, raising the flag, and perhaps some bacon and eggs for the Mrs. She firmly believes the higher quality the eggs, the stronger the beard.
9:00 am
Sir Beard spends the rest of his morning diligently focused on growing his business. This means three hours of silent work. We would reveal more but cannot give away the trade secrets. (We can, however, reveal the prized and organic formula for the John Smith Beard Balm.)
12:00 pm
Sir Beard usually does three things during his lunch hour:
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Lunch: Perhaps some ramen in town. Sir Beard is a well-traveled man and often indulges in new cuisines.
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BBQ: Those ribs aren’t gonna BBQ themselves. Time to turn on the smoker and get some baby backs on. A mustard base and spicy rub will do for the first two hours at 225F.
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Beard Balm: The latter half of the day requires the introduction of a scent. Sir Beard applies the Jeremiah Beard Balm to add a second layer of grooming - this time with a standout earthy, sweet-spicy, and woodsy aroma.
1:00 pm
Sir Beard usually has a busy afternoon meeting with clients, politicians, diplomats, beard lovers, and other distinguished gentlemen. Sir Beard cares about business but first comes promoting Freedom.
Wise men know: Freedom isn’t Free.
3:00 pm
After three hours on the BBQ, it’s time for the ribs to be wrapped in foil with a little bit of juice!
5:00 pm
Sir Beard’s day begins to wind down as the sun descends on the horizon. He unwraps the ribs and adds a BBQ sauce glaze for them to finish up the last hour. He also prepares for the evening by using his Beard Brush on his wooly beard and applies his evening Beard Oil: The Crockett’s scent of tobacco and smoke prepares Sir Beard for a relaxing evening with family.
6:00 pm
Sir Beard puts on his Stetson and pours himself a whiskey on the rocks.
6:30 pm
Sir Beard gathers for an evening meal with his loving family that they all can be grateful for: BBQ baby back ribs, green beans, and mashed potatoes (grandma’s recipe).
7:00 pm
Sir Beard relaxes next to his outdoor fire - maybe enjoying an Arturo Fuente.
9:00 pm
Sir Beard incorporates three activities to end his day:
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One last beard brush to end the day looking well-groomed.
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Lowering the flag.
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Retiring to the backyard for stargazing with the Mrs.
10:00 pm
Sir Beard sleeps.
Be sure to follow him on Instagram for more life tips at @realsirbeard.
2 comments
Laughed in envy. I need to step my routine up. 🇺🇸
This is Brilliant laughed out loud and throughly enjoy “the day in the life” of Sir Beard!!!! Thank you for sharing really FUN!!!!!!